10 Ways you could die in Swaziland

what?

1-      You decide to go swimming in the river and a crocodile suddenly NABS you.

2-      You go out during the day in your t-shirt and shorts, and come back late to find the hostel/house locked and you can’t get in and you die from hypothermia during the night. (you don’t have any credit on your phone because of MTN's ridiculous rates)

3-      You live on the food of Waterford Kamhlaba.

4-      You get into a kombi with not enough money, and when you can’t pay they shout something like 'find your own way to Manzini!' and throw you out in the middle of nowhere, and then suddenly a lion turns up and EATS you.

5-      You go to a nature reserve and lose your map. You spend days trying to find a sign of human civilization in vain.

6-      The kombi driver insists on fitting 20 people into a 15 passenger kombi (really happens!) and eventually oxygen runs out and you suffocate.

7-      *starts raining outside* ‘RAINBATH!’ :D

(I should mention Swaziland has the highest death by lightning rate in the world)

8-      You assume traffic will stop at the red light in Mbabane.

9-      You are playing rugby, and some idiot tries to chip and chase but kicks the ball deep into the bush and someone has to go get it. You go to get it and then get bitten by a poisonous snake and an ambulance is called which is on ‘Swazi time’ and by the time arrives it you're dead.

10-   You climb a mountain and bet your mates you can reach the bottom first and run all the way down not taking into account that mountains here are a bit taller/steeper/rockier than at home and you fall and break your neck and die.

Special mention- you do the I.B. programme.

Hello! J

All these things could really happen you know. Maybe I’m being a little paranoid. Anyways, do you see the risks I have to put up with every single day? Yeah. It’s a dangerous place.

Me, Ximena and Eli on the way to
 community service (term 1)

Oh by the way, its quite funny. You know how we have ‘Fiji time’? (no not the newspaper) Swaziland also has its own thing called ‘Swazi Time’ as well! At least I am used to it! :)  (though some of the Europeans are not!).

So, what happened this week? Not really much. All my closer circle of friends are out on trips. Stephen, Emily, Anna and Kyle are on a Geography trip to Durban, while Dimitri and Sofia are on the Wilderness tour. It’s been a quiet week, but sometimes a quiet week is nice.

hey! Remember these things?

Maths is very difficult, I am still enjoying it though. I wanted to change higher maths to higher English at one point, but the poor English teachers are ‘overworked’. Mr Pugh has fifteen students in his class! He said he took SEVENTEEN (17!) last year and almost died! Oh life is so hard. I wanted to tell him my old English teacher had 40 students, while she probably got one third of his salary. Pffft. The teachers here wouldn’t last a week at home.  Anyways, I have decided to go on with higher maths. For now. I could work a little harder.

icy field

Tuesday got so cold that the playing field frosted up! Serious! Gosh. Never seen that before.

InFocus is a group of students I have joined. Every Thursday evening, from 9-10pm someone presents their country. It was my turn last week, and I thought I did an ok job of it. Thanks Sekaia for the Suva pictures! Very nice! Got a few laughs from the audience. I talked of history, economy, politics, and culture. When it came to sports, I gave a proud talk of the rugby (and netball), but I used the soccer team more as a joke.

TOK class: A man is lying dead in a field, an unopened parcel beside him. There is noone else in the field. How did he die? 

Jennifer: 'paper cut?'

Teacher: -_- 'his parachute didn't open'
LOL

bloody aussies

Speaking of sports, FIJI LOST TO JAPAN? Wow. Great. Good luck against the All Blacks next week. Two red cards, and on top of that three yellow cards? Must have at least been entertaining. Come on, I would love to see them have a good showing against the Kiwis!
 I hate it when I am forced to support the Crusaders, and they STILL lost! Courageous effort from them, playing ALL their games away from their own stadium. That’s very impressive. Well done to the Reds though.

I don’t believe I have anything left to say. Oh yeah! I watched Pirates of the Carribean today with some mates. Loved it! The cinema here ain’t that bad, though its 40 minutes away. Not nearly as good as Village 6 though. 

this page needs a sentence in PURPLE!!!!!!

Oh, if anyone wants a souvenir from Swazi, do let me know. If you want something from Hong Kong, er... yeah. Let me know. And I'll let you know if I can afford it. I'll be back in about a month. Didn't actually expect to be back so soon, but I can't wait. It's not the place, it's not the people. It's the work! Argh.

Anyways. Moce for now. Bizu, I'm practising for that game of pool! Nathan, I am gonna beat you in tennis.


Remember: Chill sometimes. (Its not that hard.)

DKN